Another Holly Cole song - it's actually one of my favorite songs of hers. Lyrics go "Cry if you want to, I won't tell you not to, I won't try to cheer you up. I'll just be here if you want me. It's no use in keeping a stiff upper lip, you can weep you can sleep you can loosen your grip. You can frown you can drown and go down with the ship...you can cry if you want to." That's just the first bit of it. But I like it. I often have sudden urges to sing it to friends. But I resist ;-).
I must cave in and discuss the moving angst here. I just want to cry. Things keep piling up, and every time we think we've got things figured out, something else appears. Today the gem was that I got my tax return (for 2004 - I was a delinquent - because I thought I wouldn't owe anything). Yep, I owe a shwack of money - not in TAXES, but in CPP etc. Like a crap load of money (in our student type world it is anyways). I'm imagining, since he is also self-employed right now that Daryl will owe something similar. And we still have to do our 2005 taxes. So basically, half of our moving budget just disappeared. This is just the latest crisis. Maybe this is God's desensitization program? Exposure to increasingly anxiety-inducing crises, until I get to the point where I just trust Him, regardless of the magnitute of the crisis? Could someone identify the mastery criterion for me?
Well. I'm going to go babysit, then I'm going to tackle financial stuff with Daryl, then i'm going to pack for our camping trip (the meager four days of which we can apparently no longer afford), then I'm going to go camping and try to ignore all of this for a few days. Then I will come home and have a panic attack. Right. Off I go.